"Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery."

It was a routine thing - every time she walked into the store, he’d feel his heart speed up and all train of thoughts would focus on her. She wore a uniform look for work - a black collar polo shirt with the name tag above the breast that read, “Lauren.” The shirt was paired with denim shorts and black Toms. Her long mahogany brown hair pulled up into a ponytail. It was summertime at the mall and Stephen knew how she always came into work, especially in this season when the Arizona sun was at its’ peak. 

He watched as she walked up to the register where he stood by putting “30% off” stickers on the best-seller covers. She gave him a polite smile and all he did was smile, that was it. No “Hello” or “How are you?,” just a smile. A smile he gave her every day she came into work. Countless of times he tried to speak to her, but it always came out in a stutter or he didn’t even try at all. Lauren went behind the counter, punching in her number into the register she was going to work at. She looked over at Stephen again and commented,

“Slow day, huh?”

He only nodded, tongue tied over the fact she was speaking to him. Stephen knew he was acting ridiculous and all his crush-like symptoms were getting the best of him. She nodded back and asked,

“Are the new Palanhuik books coming in today?”

He nodded again and replied, “By noon.”

Talking to Lauren was making him nervous and if she kept asking questions, he was going to crack. He was saved by a customer who walked up to her register though with the latest issues of Nylon and Teen Vogue. After that, she left Stephen with his thoughts and then their manager, Barb told her to arrange the shelves. Stephen was then told to be the one to arrange the new Palanhuik books at the front. 

The whole time he was stacking the books, he felt like hitting his head against one. Hell, maybe even five.She was making an effort to speak to him and all he did was stand by and act like a mute. Stupid, stupid, stupid! If only he had the courage to go up to her and say, “I like you.” But of course he was too much of a pansy, he convinced himself. For the rest of the shift, he’d catch glances of Lauren setting up the books. Seeing her help customers and smiling. 


The next weekend - Stephen shared a shift with Lauren again in the afternoon. This time he decided things had to change. He needed to man up and make conversation with her. A real conversation, not the awkward ones he used to. He took a deep breath, straightening out his black shirt and decided to walk towards her direction when she caught eyes with him. She was setting up stuff animals in the children’s book section while he set the summer reading books on two tables. 

He panicked a little when she caught him staring, but decided it was all or nothing then. His hands were shaking as he tried to come up with words to say. He fell short of them as he got closer to where Lauren stood. He didn’t need to impress her, he just needed to speak to her without it all coming out in a jumble. Once he was a few feet away from her, he backed out and only smiled at her. That was it. She smiled back meekly, focusing back on her work.

Now Stephen just wanted to crawl in a hole and die there. So close and choked up the last minute. She was only a girl, a girl he adored, which only made his feelings for her flourish. He was so caught up with her. He wanted to say more than a word or two. He was at lost of words when her bright brown eyes locked with his. Lovestruck to say the least.


The following weekend after that incident, Stephen had to go work early since the bookstore was having a sale. At home, looking through the bathroom mirror, he messed around with his tousled hair and straightened his black vest over a white v-neck shirt, name tag intact. He wanted to look nice that day when he’d see Lauren. Today he wanted things to be different - only this time he was going to make sure he fell through with his plans. 

When he walked into the bookstore, it was filled with a few dozen people with more coming in every few minutes. Stephen took his place behind the register to ring up purchases for customers. He looked around for Lauren, who he spotted helping out people in the music and DVD’s section. She was in her usual attire of shorts and black Toms, except she wore a gray v-neck racerback tank. Before he left the register, he grabbed a piece of paper and a black pen to write down the following: I like you.

He made his way towards her and before he could hand over the note to her, the manager told him to go to the back room to grab more Stephenie Meyer books to put out in the front. He walked off, defeated as the note in his hand slipped away from his fingers. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be and all these things that were stopping him were signs. Though he wished he could make her his, things didn’t look good in Stephen’s perspective. 


His work shirt ended at seven and he went to buy a cup of coffee from the bookstore’s cafe before he went home. He ordered it along with a cinnamon roll, taking a seat at a table to wait for his coffee. Taking small pieces from the roll, he popped them into his mouth as he checked his phone for text messages. He was texting back his younger brother about band practice when he felt a presence standing near him. He looked up, eyes widening slightly when he saw that it was Lauren. She smiled shyly at him, taking a seat across from him. Her fingers kept fidgeting over a piece of paper as she said,

“Hey.”

Stephen cleared his throat before he replied, “Hey.”

“Um, I found this on the floor. I recognized it to be your handwriting.”

She stop fidgeting with the piece of paper she had and laid it out in front of him. Shit, he thought. She knows. She probably thought he was a dumbass, a fool for not speaking to her at all. For basically being an all-around pansy. He didn’t know how to respond to this, but before he could though, she softly stated,

“I have an answer for you.”

She then pulled out a piece a paper from the pocket of her shorts and placed it next to the other one. In neat-printed caps, it said,

“I like you too.”

Stephen looked back and forth between the paper and Lauren, his brain trying to register this new information. She liked him back, the girl he was crazy about had feelings for him as well. It was surprising and yet he couldn’t help but smile at her. She smiled back before she grabbed a napkin to jot down something. She placed it in his hand as she leaned over to kiss his cheek, her cheeks flushing pink.

“What’s this?” he asked, looking down at the napkin and blushed.

“My number so we can talk. Maybe go out sometime soon,” she replied, shyness evident in her voice.

He gave her a crooked grin. “I’d like that.”

She returned the grin, stating, “Great. See you tomorrow, Stephen.”

“See you, Lauren.”

The routine had broken. No more waiting for the perfect moment - she was going to be his just like he had constantly thought about.