"Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery."

Sarah made her way through the crowd of the shopping mall with shopping bags in both hands. It was the day before Christmas; the stores were busy and filled with people. She could hear the Christmas music playing throughout the building. Her last two stops were See’s candies and Forever 21. She was getting ready to see her boyfriend who was finally coming home after three months of touring. He was supposed to come two weeks before, but got held back playing Christmas shows in Anaheim and Seattle.

She was going to get his favorite kind of chocolate and pick out a dress to wear for his arrival. The house was already set up with Christmas decor and she was ordering Thai food take-out as soon as she got home. She wanted everything to be perfect, but then there was this little voice that kept telling her he’d let her down like various times before. He had during the summer when he spent his first week at home back from Warped with the guys. Then the Christmas before when he didn’t show up for dinner because traffic held him back (which she found to be a lame excuse). But this year she hoped it was different. She didn’t want to build herself up for disappointment.

After picking out chocolate at See’s, Sarah headed to Forever 21 where she spent twenty minutes searching around the store for a dress she liked. When she finally found one, she paid for it and was on her way out. As she walked to her car in the parking lot, her phone rang in the pocket of her faux leather jacket. Sarah managed to answer it, even though her hands were full. 

“Hello,” she answered.

“Hey sweetie. What are you up to?”

His gentle voice filled her ear, making her heart flutter. 

“Just doing last minute Christmas shopping. Where are you?”

“At my mom’s. She wanted me to stop by.”

“She’s making you set up the lights around the house, isn’t she?”

“Maybe…”

She laughed lightly. “So you’re really here? In Arizona?”

It was that small doubt speaking up - to be let down again would be devastating. The previous Christmas she didn’t speak to him for days. But with persuasion, he won her back. Always taking his word. He always got to her because deep down inside she knew she could never stay mad at him too long. No matter what.

“Yes I am. I’ll be at our house at eight.”

“Okay, I’ll see you then.”

“K and Sarah?”

She had reached her car and set some bags on top of the trunk to pull out the car keys from her bag. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Her heart skipped a beat again. Even after a year and a half, him saying those words made her react that way.

“I love you too.”


The first thing Sarah did was turn on the Christmas lights from outside when she got home. After that, she brought in all her shopping bags into the living room to sort it out. She took of her jacket and decided it’d be best to dress up before getting everything else she had to do done. Grabbing the new black bow dress she bought, Sarah got dressed in her room. She paired it up with some red flats and put her dark brown hair up in a ponytail. Once she was dressed, she grabbed a pen and her to-do list to bring it to the living room. With six things crossed out, she looked to see what else had to be done.

Order Thai food, wrap up gifts, set up the table, grab the wine and glasses from the garage, clean up the living room… Sarah followed this list in order, anxiously checking every half an hour to make sure she was done before eight o’clock. She played music to calm her nerves. Death Cab For Cutie, Imogen Heap, and Tom Petty. Just a few of the artists featured in the mix CD he had made for her over the summer. She played it almost every night to help her sleep when she was missing him the most. Three months without him in the summer were bad enough, but when he left again it felt worst. 

He was more of a visitor in this house, their house that they shared together. But she knew what she was getting into when their relationship became more serious. Dating a musician who’d be touring nine months of the year was tough. Though he’d call constantly and text her sweet messages as she worked and was at school, it never filled that empty void in her heart. The part that ached the most when she laid in bed alone every night in their bed. Or when saw couples walk into her work.

She couldn’t count how many times she had cried over him, because of him - sometimes both. Sometimes he’d ask herself why she would put herself through this. The answer was always the same: because she was in love with him. That was the only answer she needed.

As the clock got closer to eight, Sarah had managed to get everything done on her to-do list. The Thai food had come and was set down on the table in the plastic take-out bag. The gifts she had wrapped up were underneath the Christmas tree, including his. Now all she had to do was wait for him to come home. Waiting wasn’t something Sarah could manage, but over time she had become a patient person. She had to be. Months without him left her a wreck. But now that he was here in the state, in town, she didn’t feel like that anymore. He promised to be back home. She believed him.

That hope (at least what was left of it) began to deteriorate as the hand on the clock got closer to nine. Disappointment… again. Another year. She was all alone just like last Christmas Eve. All the preparation only to be left hanging by that shred of hope she contained. Sarah wouldn’t let herself cry, not this time around. She walked over to the set up dining table to pour herself a glass of wine. The food was beginning to get cold and the music had winded down to Death Cab’s “Transatlanticism.” Swirling the drink in the glass, she took a quick sip as she tried to hold herself together. 

She didn’t expect the sound of the door opening though. Her emotions had gotten the best of her then, a few stray tears rolling down her cheeks. She didn’t expect Kennedy to come an hour later than he said he would. She was used to him breaking promises. He walked into the living room, suitcases at hand. He was in a black hoodie with a gray jacket over, black jeans teared at the knee and his worn-out black lo-pro Vans. He set the suitcases aside, walking over to where she stood.

Sarah took a couple steps forward until she was face to face with him by the Christmas tree. He gave her a gentle grin as his hand reached out to remove an undried tear from her face. 

“Hey,” he softly said to her.

“Hey,” she said back, her voice meek.

“You thought I wasn’t going to come, didn’t you?”

She shook her head and he only sighed, biting down on his bottom lip. 

“I have a reason for being late.”

“Elaborate.”

“Well, I made a stop on the way home to get you this.”

He then pulled out a red diamond ring from his pocket to show her. 

“It’s a promise ring,” he explained. “I’m going to make you a promise I can’t break.”

He grabbed her left hand to slip the ring onto her ring finger as he said,

“I promise to be a better boyfriend and to stop disappointing you like I have before. You don’t deserve that, Sarah. You’re the best thing that has happened to my life.”

“Kennedy…,” she started to say, but her voice cracked. She was ready to cry tears of joy.

No other words were exchanged once he closed the small gap between them to plant a gentle kiss on her lips. Sarah swung her arms around his neck to hold onto him. He placed his hands on her waist, holding her close. He had never kissed her this way before - it was new and sent a blood rush to her heart.

When they pulled away, he whispered, “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“You look very beautiful tonight by the way.”

Her face flushed. “Thanks.”

“What would you like to do now? We have all night.”

She twitched her mouth to the side. “Hmm, we can have dinner first and then open presents.”

“Any kissing in-between?”

She smiled. “Of course. We gotta catch up on our kissing.”

He chuckled as a smile crossed his lips. “Deal.”

Sarah pecked her lips again before taking his hand into hers as they sat down at the dining table, Kennedy told her,

“Merry Christmas Sarah. Forgot to say that after I gave you the ring.”

She grinned. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re here. That’s all I wanted.”

He smiled at her once more - they were falling in love all over again. It was the season of hope and it was reinstalled in her. This was all she wanted for Christmas - just to be with Kennedy. That was all she need.

It was a routine thing - every time she walked into the store, he’d feel his heart speed up and all train of thoughts would focus on her. She wore a uniform look for work - a black collar polo shirt with the name tag above the breast that read, “Lauren.” The shirt was paired with denim shorts and black Toms. Her long mahogany brown hair pulled up into a ponytail. It was summertime at the mall and Stephen knew how she always came into work, especially in this season when the Arizona sun was at its’ peak. 

He watched as she walked up to the register where he stood by putting “30% off” stickers on the best-seller covers. She gave him a polite smile and all he did was smile, that was it. No “Hello” or “How are you?,” just a smile. A smile he gave her every day she came into work. Countless of times he tried to speak to her, but it always came out in a stutter or he didn’t even try at all. Lauren went behind the counter, punching in her number into the register she was going to work at. She looked over at Stephen again and commented,

“Slow day, huh?”

He only nodded, tongue tied over the fact she was speaking to him. Stephen knew he was acting ridiculous and all his crush-like symptoms were getting the best of him. She nodded back and asked,

“Are the new Palanhuik books coming in today?”

He nodded again and replied, “By noon.”

Talking to Lauren was making him nervous and if she kept asking questions, he was going to crack. He was saved by a customer who walked up to her register though with the latest issues of Nylon and Teen Vogue. After that, she left Stephen with his thoughts and then their manager, Barb told her to arrange the shelves. Stephen was then told to be the one to arrange the new Palanhuik books at the front. 

The whole time he was stacking the books, he felt like hitting his head against one. Hell, maybe even five.She was making an effort to speak to him and all he did was stand by and act like a mute. Stupid, stupid, stupid! If only he had the courage to go up to her and say, “I like you.” But of course he was too much of a pansy, he convinced himself. For the rest of the shift, he’d catch glances of Lauren setting up the books. Seeing her help customers and smiling. 


The next weekend - Stephen shared a shift with Lauren again in the afternoon. This time he decided things had to change. He needed to man up and make conversation with her. A real conversation, not the awkward ones he used to. He took a deep breath, straightening out his black shirt and decided to walk towards her direction when she caught eyes with him. She was setting up stuff animals in the children’s book section while he set the summer reading books on two tables. 

He panicked a little when she caught him staring, but decided it was all or nothing then. His hands were shaking as he tried to come up with words to say. He fell short of them as he got closer to where Lauren stood. He didn’t need to impress her, he just needed to speak to her without it all coming out in a jumble. Once he was a few feet away from her, he backed out and only smiled at her. That was it. She smiled back meekly, focusing back on her work.

Now Stephen just wanted to crawl in a hole and die there. So close and choked up the last minute. She was only a girl, a girl he adored, which only made his feelings for her flourish. He was so caught up with her. He wanted to say more than a word or two. He was at lost of words when her bright brown eyes locked with his. Lovestruck to say the least.


The following weekend after that incident, Stephen had to go work early since the bookstore was having a sale. At home, looking through the bathroom mirror, he messed around with his tousled hair and straightened his black vest over a white v-neck shirt, name tag intact. He wanted to look nice that day when he’d see Lauren. Today he wanted things to be different - only this time he was going to make sure he fell through with his plans. 

When he walked into the bookstore, it was filled with a few dozen people with more coming in every few minutes. Stephen took his place behind the register to ring up purchases for customers. He looked around for Lauren, who he spotted helping out people in the music and DVD’s section. She was in her usual attire of shorts and black Toms, except she wore a gray v-neck racerback tank. Before he left the register, he grabbed a piece of paper and a black pen to write down the following: I like you.

He made his way towards her and before he could hand over the note to her, the manager told him to go to the back room to grab more Stephenie Meyer books to put out in the front. He walked off, defeated as the note in his hand slipped away from his fingers. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be and all these things that were stopping him were signs. Though he wished he could make her his, things didn’t look good in Stephen’s perspective. 


His work shirt ended at seven and he went to buy a cup of coffee from the bookstore’s cafe before he went home. He ordered it along with a cinnamon roll, taking a seat at a table to wait for his coffee. Taking small pieces from the roll, he popped them into his mouth as he checked his phone for text messages. He was texting back his younger brother about band practice when he felt a presence standing near him. He looked up, eyes widening slightly when he saw that it was Lauren. She smiled shyly at him, taking a seat across from him. Her fingers kept fidgeting over a piece of paper as she said,

“Hey.”

Stephen cleared his throat before he replied, “Hey.”

“Um, I found this on the floor. I recognized it to be your handwriting.”

She stop fidgeting with the piece of paper she had and laid it out in front of him. Shit, he thought. She knows. She probably thought he was a dumbass, a fool for not speaking to her at all. For basically being an all-around pansy. He didn’t know how to respond to this, but before he could though, she softly stated,

“I have an answer for you.”

She then pulled out a piece a paper from the pocket of her shorts and placed it next to the other one. In neat-printed caps, it said,

“I like you too.”

Stephen looked back and forth between the paper and Lauren, his brain trying to register this new information. She liked him back, the girl he was crazy about had feelings for him as well. It was surprising and yet he couldn’t help but smile at her. She smiled back before she grabbed a napkin to jot down something. She placed it in his hand as she leaned over to kiss his cheek, her cheeks flushing pink.

“What’s this?” he asked, looking down at the napkin and blushed.

“My number so we can talk. Maybe go out sometime soon,” she replied, shyness evident in her voice.

He gave her a crooked grin. “I’d like that.”

She returned the grin, stating, “Great. See you tomorrow, Stephen.”

“See you, Lauren.”

The routine had broken. No more waiting for the perfect moment - she was going to be his just like he had constantly thought about.

Post your comment here since it wouldn’t let me do it on the one-shot post. (:

Thank you<3

Based off “Seasons” by The Summer Set.

It was summer - mid-August to be exact. It was a typical Saturday morning. I was still in bed underneath the covers with music playing from my iPod placed on a dock with speakers. The saturated red numbers on my alarm clock read 10:00 a.m. exactly. I was fully awake, but not ready to get up. It was nice to lay there, let the cool breeze brush up against my skin. The drapes of my window were still closed, blocking the sun rays to pour in. I sang softly to the Meg & Dia song that had come up on the shuffle.

This was all interrupted though when my best friend, Jess came in through the door with a mission - to get me out of bed ASAP. She jumped on and exclaimed,

“Get up Annabelle!”

I shook my head. “No way. I’m staying right here.”

“So you don’t want to hang out with John before the show? He’ll be so bummed out…”

Sighing I sat up and dragged my feet to my closet. Jess smiled in triumph, knowing that she won once she mentioned my boyfriend’s name. She knew I would not pass up hanging out with him. Jess, John, and the rest of the guys had been touring more often so I got less time to hang out with all of them in general. They had only been home for a little over a month and a half and they were already leaving for another tour in two days. The show they were playing that night was a local one for fans who lived around the area.

“I knew you couldn’t say no,” Jess mused.

I stuck my tongue out at her, which only made her laugh.

“Where’s John in the first place?” I asked.

“Over at Josh’s house, I think. He’ll be over here in twenty minutes.”

My eyes widen. “What! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“You were still in bed. Don’t freak out.  You can get ready in time.”

Scanning over my clothes, I pulled out a navy blue embroidered racerback tank and a pair of white shorts to thrown. Once I was dressed, I put on a pair of gladiator sandals and put my hair up in a high ponytail. The only make-up I applied was mascara and tinted lip balm. Jess and I headed out of my room to go downstairs once I had grabbed my shoulder-strap bag. In the kitchen, my mom was sitting at the counter going over the bills  and writing checks that were due that month. She looked up at us, smiling and greeted,

“Hey girls. What are you two up to?”

“Annabelle has a hot date with John,” Jess replied, her tone teasing.

I blushed anyway and it didn’t help that my mom went along with it too.

“Ooh, where’s John taking you on this hot date honey? You look very cute by the way.”

Oh god. I covered my face in embarrassment with my hands. My mom, Jess, and basically everyone else loved to tease me about John because I blushed so easily and they thought we were adorable when we both acted shy. Jess had even listed reasons to me one time. He was tall and I was short; he had a vibrant, outgoing personality while I was more tranquil and bubbly at the same time. Instead of answering my mom’s question, I took a seat at the dining table and pretended like I didn’t hear anything.

“It’s a surprise Mrs. Tapia. Even I don’t know where John’s taking her,” Jess answered instead.

“Oh really? Well, I be he’s trying to outdo himself then.”

“Most likely.”

Just then the doorbell rung and Jess didn’t waste the opportunity to be the one to answer it.

“Johnny-boy, you’re here! Annabelle’s in the kitchen waiting for you looking like hot stuff,” she stated out loud.

“Do you always have to do that when I come over Jess? You don’t even live here,” I heard John say to her.

“This is like my second home so I can do what I want. Anyways, get in here.”

Both John and Jess walked over to the kitchen and I felt the shyness makes it way back with the blush in my cheeks included. John smiled at me, which only made the blush deepen. He was a pink-striped muscle tank, black skinny jeans, and black scuffed lo pro Vans. He also wore a blue and pink hat with the cap flipped up, his chestnut brown hair a curly, tousled mess. He looked over at my mom, greeting,

“Hi Mrs. Tapia.”

“Hi John. Remember Annabelle’s curfew and you two have fun.”

“I will - midnight since there’s a show tonight.”

“You two should get going unless you want me to tease you guys out of love again…,” Jess trailed off.

“No way, let’s go Annabelle. I have surprise for you.”

He came over and laced his hand with mine to head out the door. We didn’t leave quick enough since we could still hear Jess say, “It better be a good surprise - not just macking!” The blush in my cheeks errupted, the crimson color all over my face. John just rolled his eyes playfully; he was used to Jess and his brother, Stephen teasing him when they got the chance. They claimed it to be “out of love” (sure). When he was sure we were alone in his car, John leaned over to kiss me. I sighed; the kiss felt nice and sweet all at once.

“Finally,” he whispered, a smile curving his small, pouted lips.

I smiled back, moving a curly strand of hair away from his face.

“So… what’s this surprise Jess kept talking about?” I asked.

He smirked. “You’re going to have to wait. Plus, I’m putting a blindfold over your eyes.”

“Aw, come on John. I don’t even get a hint?”

He shook his head. “Be patient, it’ll be worth it.”

I sat back in the passenger seat and crossed my arms over my chest. “Uh huh…”

He pecked my lips before he pulled out the red blindfold from the glove compartment to place it over my eyes.

“No peeking,” he reminded me.

He drove for approximately twenty minutes and the only senses I could depend on at the moment were my scent and hearing. The windows were rolled up; the air conditioning was on. Music played from the speakers and John held onto my hand. It made me anxious not knowing where we were going, but I didn’t want to spoil the surprise just because I couldn’t wait until we got to our destination. When the car came to a complete stop and I heard the click of John’s seat belt, I unbuckled my own. His car door opened and closed, signifying he had gotten out. I then heard my door open, John grabbing both my hands so I could step out. He guided me towards something and I didn’t note where to until we had stepped inside a building, the chime of the bell signaling our entrance.

“Any guesses to where we are?” he asked, his breathe on the shell of my ear.

A sweet smell infiltrated my lungs that was like butter and sugar all at once. We were in some sort of cafe, but I couldn’t tell which kind. I shook my head and then he pulled off the blindfold from my eyes. It ended up being a cupcake cafe - assortments of cupcakes were behind glass displays with various decorations on them. The architecture of the place resembled a fairy tale-like theme, especially with the vivacious colors. A big smile tugged at the corners of my lips when I looked up at John and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

“Pick anything you want. We’re going to take them to go. I have another surprise for you,” he informed me.

This time I kissed him on the lips before I tugged at his hand to go towards the counter to pick a pastry out. I chose two fudge brownie cupcakes that had bite-size Reese’s peanut butter cups in the middle. John got two vanilla and chocolate swirl cupcakes with fudge icing. After paying for them, John placed the blindfold over my eyes again in the car for the next surprise.

It definitely was worth the surprise. He had taken me to the park and underneath a shaded tree a picnic was set up. Red-checkered blanket and woven picnic basket included. We sat down and John took out the food from the basket - turkey sandwiches, Sun chips, fresh strawberries, sharp cheddar cheese on crackers and raspberry iced tea.

“Did you do all this by yourself?” I wondered.

“Stephen helped me set up while Josh helped making the lunch.”

I grinned. “You put a lot of thought into this.”

He grinned back. “I wanted to make sure things were perfect, especially since I’ll be leaving for tour. I just want to spend as much time with you as I can today.”

It was sweet to hear him say those words and all I could come up with to say back was,

“Well, this is perfect. I like having you to myself right now.”

He smiled and leaned over to kiss me the same way he had at my house. “That’s good to hear.”

Every minute spent was not wasted. We talked and laughed as we ate our lunch on the blanket. I stayed close by John’s side, his body heat sending a tingling sensation across my skin. I wanted to remember every part of this, any little detail that would sponge up in my memory for future daydreaming. The way he smiled, how his lips literally tasted sugary-sweet with each kiss and the musky, light scent of his clothes that permeated onto mine. It was those little things that meant so much to me. The ones that kept me going when I wouldn’t see him for a long period of time as he toured the country.

Phone calls and text messages are never enough. I would miss being in his arms laying in my bed late at night. And the way his voice sounded as he’d whisper against my ear. But I knew he was doing something he loved and I supported that all the way through. Relationships have their sacrifices; this was mine. I knew he would do the same for me.

Once the food was done with only crumbs left on the Styrofoam plates, we cleaned up to go back to the car. We were heading to the venue where the band would be playing at. Each opportunity I would get I’d hold his hand and kiss him spontaneously. He’d do the same, nuzzling his nose against the crook of my neck as he left chaste kisses. Everybody else in the was already at the venue, setting up their equipment on stage.

John and I stood by a wall covered with dozens of stickers and flyers. I had my arms wrapped around his neck as he held onto my waist. I kissed him before I whispered,

“I love you John.”

Neither one of us had officially said the three words, but we were aware of the strong feelings that existed between us. Now I felt it was time to acknowledge it by saying those words to him because they were true.  The timing was right.

He whispered back, “I love you too, Annabelle.”

We smiled at each other bashfully, kissing once more before John had to get ready for the show.

“You’ll be watching, right?” he questioned.

“I always do silly,” I replied. “Go get them tiger.”

The smile he gave me was so infectious that it caused me to smile back in the same way. I couldn’t have been more happier. This felt right - it’s love and it’s real. It would only get better as time went on. That was for sure.

I’m bad at keeping up with things, but I’ll try my best. Today I’m posting a John Gomez one-shot. I hope you guys enjoy it (: